Fanfic: xxxHolic
Oct. 4th, 2007 12:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
uraniaWeeeeeeh~ I'm bringing fic! :D
Fandom: xxxHolic
Pairing: DoumekiWatanuki [but it's rather gen-ish...]
Disclaimer: No, don't own it.Disclaimers annoy me! D:
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoiler up to chapter 144, I guess... Also I confused myself with this. And it isn't beta'd. And it's late. Oh my...
Notes: For the absolutely amazing![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iambickilometer 'cause she's "craving 104 like no tomorrow"! ♥ (Sadly, this isn't really 104... >__< I'm sorry... ;_;)
Listen To The Idle Haste Of Time.
Somehow Doumeki hadn’t thought it’d end like this. He’d expected screams and blood and fear, but nothing like this. Oh, fear is there alright, but he had always thought it would be sudden shock rather than this creeping certainty that makes certain people want to rip their hair out, or run away and forget they ever existed.
But he doesn’t do things like that, he doesn’t even think them, he wouldn’t be himself if he did. And even if he’d be a person like that, he still wouldn’t do it. He can’t do it. He won’t leave Himawari alone with this. He made a promise and he’s planning on keeping it even if it should drive him insane.
And maybe all this is just enough, he thinks looking down at the still form in front of him, just enough to push him over the edge. It wouldn’t surprise him if it was. There’s just so much one can take after all... And he is sure whatever he was meant to take, he wasn’t meant to take this, so who would really blame him if he’d just leave? Probably nobody. Sure, he would, even if he were the only one even encouraging him to go away, beneath the yelling and the flailing Doumeki would still hear the plea not to leave him alone. Or maybe it’d just be misinterpretation. What does it matter? In the end Doumeki would stay anyway.
He absentmindedly smooths the blanket which is covering the incredibly pale boy. If it was one of those colorless hospital sheets he could say that they’re nearly the same color, but it’s not. It’s not even white. In fact it has a confusing paisley pattern and is some horrid orange color which presumably would clash terribly with the blue of Watanuki’s left eye.
With some detached interest Doumeki watches his hands trailing red traces over the blanket, and only then notices that his fingernails left bloody crescents on his palms. He didn’t even know he had clenched them. Well, not even Doumeki can know everything, can he? He almost hears Watanuki agreeing hastily, sees his frantic nod, but when he glances at the peaceful face, he knows it was just his imagination. Again. When did it begin to turn against him and let him see what isn’t there? He doesn’t know, but it really can’t be that long. Just two weeks ago there wasn’t any need for his mind to lie to him. He shrugs. It doesn’t really matter, it’s not as if his imagination could change anything, so it might as well have things its way.
Just as Doumeki wants go back to staring and preferably not thinking all that much, he hears the shouji slide open. So Yuuko is coming again? But what is really there to check up, it’s not as if she doesn’t know that Watanuki’s condition doesn’t change.
He’s already thinking about which questions to ask so that he might get an answer that is not too cryptic to actually understand, an answer that can at least beat the instant fear, when he hears the hurried tap tap of soft paws instead of the measured steps he was expecting.
Mokona then. Doumeki isn’t quite sure if he’s relieved or annoyed that it’s not Yuuko. Even if her words only leave him in uncertainty every time he talks to her, she’s still the only source of information he has. Either way it doesn’t matter, it’s not as if annoyance is going to change his company, being annoyed is rather useless, just like thinking. Or feeling. Those things, thoughts, feelings, they’re not counting anything, at least not in the book of hitsuzen. Maybe wishes do.
The price is too high to pay. That’s what he was told by Yuuko, dressed up in a white kimono standing in the middle of the garden. And when she had turned to him, there had been the faintest trace of remorse in her eyes, telling of sorrow and regret, and so he’d taken her answer without complaints. He tries not to think about it any further. He has the feeling that if he did, he’d come to the conclusion that there isn’t any price too high. But after all he is sorry for those troubled downcast eyes, and so he allows doubt and uncertainty to gnaw at his soul.
In the meantime Mokona has settled in his lap, just like he did yesterday. Doumeki wonders why, it’s not as if his lap is more comfortable than the futon Watanuki is lying on, and he saw Mokona sitting there before. Now there is a distance between the motionless boy and the fuzzball. Maybe eventually everything comes down to that, drifting further apart, creating a gap. Perhaps merely watching as the gap creates itself is bad enough.
Outside Doumeki can hear the soft patter of beginning rain and across the hall someone (or something) is shuffling over the tatamis. A plank creaks. Kimonos rustle quietly while being folded. Slowly Doumeki closes his eyes, it’s not as if he needs them to be vigilant. Meditation, wasn’t that what always helped him? That’s what is needed here, help, and even if it’s not for himself, he can at least try.
On the roof there’s a cawing crow followed by the hushed sound of fluttering wings. There’s the clatter of time, and the rush of silence, and of course the fleeting hiss of eternity. Everything, every sound, is swirling and shuddering and spinning until Mokona breaks the non-silence.
“Ne, Doumeki?” he asks, and in the words lies so much hesitance that Doumeki doesn’t want to hear the question.
He nods.
“Don’t you want to go home? Maybe get some rest, and then...” Mokona trails off. Because he already knew the answer before he even thought of the question.
“Doumeki-kun won’t leave,” a voice that Doumeki has been expecting all day echoes in the quiet room.
“That’s hitsuzen.”
- おわり -
---
If you find any mistakes please correct them. *bows* And again I'm sorry for the absolute... randomness of this... ;____;
Fandom: xxxHolic
Pairing: DoumekiWatanuki [but it's rather gen-ish...]
Disclaimer: No, don't own it.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoiler up to chapter 144, I guess... Also I confused myself with this. And it isn't beta'd. And it's late. Oh my...
Notes: For the absolutely amazing
iambickilometer 'cause she's "craving 104 like no tomorrow"! ♥ (Sadly, this isn't really 104... >__< I'm sorry... ;_;)Listen To The Idle Haste Of Time.
Somehow Doumeki hadn’t thought it’d end like this. He’d expected screams and blood and fear, but nothing like this. Oh, fear is there alright, but he had always thought it would be sudden shock rather than this creeping certainty that makes certain people want to rip their hair out, or run away and forget they ever existed.
But he doesn’t do things like that, he doesn’t even think them, he wouldn’t be himself if he did. And even if he’d be a person like that, he still wouldn’t do it. He can’t do it. He won’t leave Himawari alone with this. He made a promise and he’s planning on keeping it even if it should drive him insane.
And maybe all this is just enough, he thinks looking down at the still form in front of him, just enough to push him over the edge. It wouldn’t surprise him if it was. There’s just so much one can take after all... And he is sure whatever he was meant to take, he wasn’t meant to take this, so who would really blame him if he’d just leave? Probably nobody. Sure, he would, even if he were the only one even encouraging him to go away, beneath the yelling and the flailing Doumeki would still hear the plea not to leave him alone. Or maybe it’d just be misinterpretation. What does it matter? In the end Doumeki would stay anyway.
He absentmindedly smooths the blanket which is covering the incredibly pale boy. If it was one of those colorless hospital sheets he could say that they’re nearly the same color, but it’s not. It’s not even white. In fact it has a confusing paisley pattern and is some horrid orange color which presumably would clash terribly with the blue of Watanuki’s left eye.
With some detached interest Doumeki watches his hands trailing red traces over the blanket, and only then notices that his fingernails left bloody crescents on his palms. He didn’t even know he had clenched them. Well, not even Doumeki can know everything, can he? He almost hears Watanuki agreeing hastily, sees his frantic nod, but when he glances at the peaceful face, he knows it was just his imagination. Again. When did it begin to turn against him and let him see what isn’t there? He doesn’t know, but it really can’t be that long. Just two weeks ago there wasn’t any need for his mind to lie to him. He shrugs. It doesn’t really matter, it’s not as if his imagination could change anything, so it might as well have things its way.
Just as Doumeki wants go back to staring and preferably not thinking all that much, he hears the shouji slide open. So Yuuko is coming again? But what is really there to check up, it’s not as if she doesn’t know that Watanuki’s condition doesn’t change.
He’s already thinking about which questions to ask so that he might get an answer that is not too cryptic to actually understand, an answer that can at least beat the instant fear, when he hears the hurried tap tap of soft paws instead of the measured steps he was expecting.
Mokona then. Doumeki isn’t quite sure if he’s relieved or annoyed that it’s not Yuuko. Even if her words only leave him in uncertainty every time he talks to her, she’s still the only source of information he has. Either way it doesn’t matter, it’s not as if annoyance is going to change his company, being annoyed is rather useless, just like thinking. Or feeling. Those things, thoughts, feelings, they’re not counting anything, at least not in the book of hitsuzen. Maybe wishes do.
The price is too high to pay. That’s what he was told by Yuuko, dressed up in a white kimono standing in the middle of the garden. And when she had turned to him, there had been the faintest trace of remorse in her eyes, telling of sorrow and regret, and so he’d taken her answer without complaints. He tries not to think about it any further. He has the feeling that if he did, he’d come to the conclusion that there isn’t any price too high. But after all he is sorry for those troubled downcast eyes, and so he allows doubt and uncertainty to gnaw at his soul.
In the meantime Mokona has settled in his lap, just like he did yesterday. Doumeki wonders why, it’s not as if his lap is more comfortable than the futon Watanuki is lying on, and he saw Mokona sitting there before. Now there is a distance between the motionless boy and the fuzzball. Maybe eventually everything comes down to that, drifting further apart, creating a gap. Perhaps merely watching as the gap creates itself is bad enough.
Outside Doumeki can hear the soft patter of beginning rain and across the hall someone (or something) is shuffling over the tatamis. A plank creaks. Kimonos rustle quietly while being folded. Slowly Doumeki closes his eyes, it’s not as if he needs them to be vigilant. Meditation, wasn’t that what always helped him? That’s what is needed here, help, and even if it’s not for himself, he can at least try.
On the roof there’s a cawing crow followed by the hushed sound of fluttering wings. There’s the clatter of time, and the rush of silence, and of course the fleeting hiss of eternity. Everything, every sound, is swirling and shuddering and spinning until Mokona breaks the non-silence.
“Ne, Doumeki?” he asks, and in the words lies so much hesitance that Doumeki doesn’t want to hear the question.
He nods.
“Don’t you want to go home? Maybe get some rest, and then...” Mokona trails off. Because he already knew the answer before he even thought of the question.
“Doumeki-kun won’t leave,” a voice that Doumeki has been expecting all day echoes in the quiet room.
“That’s hitsuzen.”
- おわり -
---
If you find any mistakes please correct them. *bows* And again I'm sorry for the absolute... randomness of this... ;____;
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 12:38 am (UTC)THIS. WAS. THIS WAS. SO DAMN. INCREDIBLE.
Vegetative!Watanuki is scary. Poor, poor Doumeki. But it's a good point; while Watanuki's stuck in dreamland, what's up with his body? I imagine Doumeki and Himawari and Kohane etc are all incredibly worried.
IT'S 104 ENOUGH FOR ME. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 02:15 pm (UTC)THAAAANKS! XD
Scary... he is? Doumeki stays anyway!! Of course they're worried, I guess, if they're not I'd really be surprised. o.O
YAAAAYYY~! :D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 03:22 pm (UTC)You'r welcome.
Scary in that it's scary that he's in a vegetative state. Because what if he doesn't wake up?
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 04:21 pm (UTC)Argh, don't wanna think about that. Let's just say he will wake up. I'm an optimist!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 02:23 am (UTC)Also, can you please tell me how to add a mood theme table? I've got one that I have no idea what to do with. :DDD
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 01:59 pm (UTC)Sure, but it's kinda complicated. First you have to upload the pics of the mood theme on photobucket or something like that. Back on LJ you click on manage accounts and then on moodtheme editor. Create a new one. Then you have to uncheck all boxes (I forgot that last time, it was so annoying...) and paste the URL of every pic in the box for it. And fill out height and width. Then save it. Tadaa~!
It's complicated and annoying, but if there's an easier way, I don't know it. D: And I can't explain it better... I'm sorry! XD
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 09:22 am (UTC)Doumeki-kun won't leave
So true... and poor Watanuki, I'm so worried for him >_<
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 01:48 pm (UTC)Yeah, and it's so long until the new chapter comes out... >.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 01:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 01:32 am (UTC)is very good, think is the others point of vew!!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 10:09 am (UTC)Thanks. :)